You Can’t Listen Your Way Into Trouble...

Why listening is your leadership superpower—and how to use it to build trust, defuse tension, and unlock creativity.

Picture this: you’re in a meeting where tensions are running high. The discussion is heating up, voices are getting louder, and everyone seems eager to jump in and make their case. What do you do?

It’s easy to get caught up in the urge to speak—whether to defend a position, offer a solution, or just be heard. But here’s the thing: some of the smartest decisions, strongest connections, and most creative breakthroughs don’t start with talking. They start with listening.

And right now, listening could not be more important.

This week, many of us are feeling the weight of rapid change. Shifts in national policies are stirring uncertainty, devastating fires in LA have us grappling with the climate crisis, and MLK Day has prompted reflection on justice, equity, and empathy. In moments like these, the emotional temperature is high. People are on edge—some distracted, others struggling, and many looking to leaders to provide stability and clarity.

For leaders, this is a defining moment. When your team feels the weight of uncertainty, the best thing you can do isn’t to offer quick answers or push for more output. It’s to pause, tune in, and truly listen.

That’s a lesson Christie’s dad shared with her and her siblings as they started navigating the business world. In a family of competitive Type A’s with plenty to say, he cautioned:

“You can’t listen your way into trouble.”

When you choose curiosity over control and choose to truly listen, you create space. Space to understand what’s really going on, to defuse tension, and to uncover opportunities you might have missed. Listening builds trust and clarity in a way that reacting or speaking over someone never will.

So, how do you respond when the world feels overwhelming and your team looks to you for direction? You start by listening.

This week, we’re diving into how listening—done right—can become your leadership superpower.

In celebration of the launch of Essential, this week’s newsletter is free to all subscribers. Read more about Dr. Christie Smith’s new book below, and upgrade to paid to receive weekly in-depth insights on leadership directly to your inbox.

Three Ways to Lead Through Listening

  1. Replace Reacting with Curiosity
    When someone comes to you with a challenge—or even criticism—it’s natural to feel defensive. But instead of reacting, what if you leaned into curiosity? Simple, open-ended questions like “Can you walk me through what’s on your mind?” can turn potential conflict into connection.

💡Action step: The next time someone brings you feedback, pause before responding. Ask one follow-up question to learn more about their perspective.

  1. Embrace the Power of Silence
    Ever notice how some people will keep talking when there’s a pause in the conversation? That’s where the magic happens. Silence gives people the chance to clarify their thoughts and say what’s really on their mind. As a leader, your job is to hold that space—even if it feels uncomfortable.

💡 Action step: Try this in your next conversation: after someone finishes speaking, count to three before jumping in. You might be surprised by what they add.

  1. Listen for the Unsaid
    Words matter, but so do the things people leave out. Maybe it’s the hesitation in someone’s voice when they agree to a deadline, or the crossed arms that signal unease in a meeting. Paying attention to tone, body language, and what’s unsaid can help you pick up on the deeper issues at play.

💡 Action step: Choose one interaction this week to focus on the subtext. Ask yourself: What emotions might be influencing what’s being said—or left unsaid?

10-Minute Takeaway

Great listening doesn’t just happen—it’s a skill you can practice. Here’s a quick, structured way to sharpen your ability:

  1. Choose a Conversation: Think of a colleague, team member, or friend you’ll meet with this week. Set the intention to focus fully on listening.

  2. Practice Active Listening: During the conversation, focus on understanding rather than responding. Try using these prompts to encourage them to go deeper:

  • “Tell me more about that.”

  • “What else?”

  • “How do you feel about this?”

  • “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing here?”

  • “What does support look like for you?”

  1. Resist the Urge to Fix: Instead of jumping in with solutions or advice, ask questions and reflect back what you’re hearing. For example:

  • “It sounds like what you’re really worried about is ______. Did I get that right?”

  • “If I understand correctly, you’re feeling ______. Is that accurate?”

  1. Reflect and Learn: After the conversation, take a minute to jot down what you noticed. Did you learn something new? Did the other person share more than usual? How did listening shift the dynamic?

📚 Have You Picked Up Essential Yet?

We’re living through one of the most challenging times for leaders in recent memory. Distributed teams, generative AI, and global shifts are rewriting the rules of how we work and connect. Leadership has never been harder—or more important.

That’s why Christie’s book, Essential: How Distributed Teams, Generative AI, and Global Shifts Are Creating A New Human-Powered Leadership, couldn’t come at a better time. Thank you for the overwhelming response to its launch yesterday!

This isn’t just a leadership book—it’s a guide for navigating the complexities of today’s world while staying grounded in what matters most: people. It offers practical strategies for building resilient teams, leading with clarity, and staying ahead of seismic changes shaping our workplaces and communities.

❤️ If Essential resonates with you:

  • Share your thoughts with a review on Amazon or Goodreads—it helps spread these ideas to leaders who need them.

  • Start a conversation with your team or network about the insights that stand out with the free Discussion Guide available on www.smith-monahan.com.

This is the moment to lead with purpose and humanity. Essential is here to help.

What Else We’re Reading, Watching and Listening To This Week

1. Sonos’ New CEO Shares Vision for the Future
In an open letter to employees, Sonos’ interim CEO, Tom Conrad, lays out his vision for the company’s culture and priorities as it navigates a critical moment of transition. It’s a candid and inspiring example of leadership transparency. Read the full letter here.

2. Christie Talks Essential on Two Must-Listen Podcasts
Dive deeper into the ideas behind Essential with Christie’s appearances on:

  • The Remarkable Leadership Podcast, where she discusses how global shifts are reshaping leadership itself. Watch it on YouTube.

  • The Future of HR Podcast, featuring a conversation with her co-worker Kelly Monahan and host JP Elliot about the future of human-powered leadership in the new workplace. Listen here.

3. JPMorgan Decides Employee Feedback Doesn’t Matter—A Critical Misstep
JPMorgan recently announced a full return-to-office policy by March, a move that sparked significant backlash from employees, many of whom voiced their frustrations on an internal platform. The bank’s response? Turning off comments entirely. Critics argue that silencing feedback doesn’t make the disagreement disappear—it just forces it underground, risking morale and compliance issues in the process. Read the full analysis on Inc..

4. Meta’s Black AI Character Sparks Backlash
A deep dive into the criticism surrounding Meta’s Black AI character, highlighting concerns over digital Blackface and the ways technology often perpetuates racial stereotypes. The article examines the broader implications of bias in AI and the tech industry’s accountability. Read the full piece in The Washington Post.

5. Christie’s Top Leadership Skills for 2025
As we head deeper into 2025, the skills that define great leaders are shifting. Christie outlines the essential traits leaders need to master in a world shaped by distributed teams, rapid innovation, and global transformation. Read the full article on MSN.

A Dose of Humanity to Fill Your Cup

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience and comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love (1963)

Thank you for being here. Until next week,

The Humanity Studio Team

The Humanity Studio Newsletter is community-supported and ad-free, created by our team to bring you valuable leadership insights. Click here to upgrade to weekly posts—and while you’re at it—share with a friend you think would enjoy it, too. Have questions or topics you’d like us to cover? Reply to this email to reach us directly. We’d love to hear from you!

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