The #1 Skill of Emotionally Mature Leaders

Last week, we explored how leaders can develop beyond managing their own emotions and shift toward understanding others—what we call emotional maturity. This week, we’re focusing on an essential skill of emotional maturity: contextual competence—the ability to interpret people’s actions and emotions in light of their unique circumstances rather than through the lens of our assumptions and biases.

Curiosity and compassion are critical tools, but without context, they can only take us so far. It’s one thing to offer empathy to a frustrated team member—but quite another to understand the broader context driving that frustration, whether personal, organizational, or systemic.

When we don’t take the time to gather context, assumptions fill the gaps, often leading to frustration, misunderstanding, or blame. Leaders who develop contextual competence slow down, step outside their own experience, and ask thoughtful questions about the perspectives and needs of others. It’s in these moments that trust and psychological safety are built.

Developing Contextual Competence

After the Parkland school shooting, The Humanity Studio founder Christie met with a senior leader who was frustrated by their team’s lack of engagement that week. Rather than responding to that frustration, Christie asked the leader to pause and reflect:

• What story are you telling yourself about this situation?

• What assumptions are you making about your team’s actions?

• What is the broader context in which they are coming to work?

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